So somehow (ok i know the science behind it) when the season changes like this sunny 60 one day then 23 the next with black clouds it throws my natural time clock way off. I know I’m already sensitive to less light in the winter, but when it fluctuates like this it throws my whole body off. It’s almost like i’ve been hibernating all winter and now I’m an insomniac. I went to take a sleep aid to help get my body back on track, and i think i took Imodium on accident. Ha ha ha ha! But, at the same time scary. I’m just behind on sleep and second guessing my every move, not thinking clearly. I’m half tempted to….Wow that’s a great example of what’s going on…oh now i remember…take tomorrow and just rest my brain somehow. Yoga!

So we’ve literally been stuck in our 3rd floor condo for 3 years with the market dropping and not being able to sell. We finally paid down the mortgage to the point where we could almost sell, but at this cost i would buy the place and rent it out. So, for next three years at least we will be landlords. Just testing the water to see if we want to keep it for the long haul. We found great tenants, and a good cheep place to rent for the next three years while we pay off debt. It’s a basic townhouse with an attached garage. It will make it a lot easier to get out in the winter, and there are only 3 stairs not 24 to get in side. It feels smaller, but somehow has more square footage. All i know is we got a great deal, and will be making it work and paying down debts to snowball, and free up monthly cash.

Oh, and it’s in the next city over which has an awesome community center. For $44/month our entire family will have a full access pass. That’s cheaper than our current basic gym membership. Now, we’ll all have access to Pool, Water Park, Weight Room, Gym, Rock Climbing, and more. I’m excited to get some serious swim time in, and while paying of debt free rock climbing makes for a fun date night. Yea! So give a little in open space, and get out of the house quick, and play more. I think it’s a great trade.

Now i have 10 days to pack =) Wow, but then i have a week to finish cleaning up before we hand it over.

Ok, I’ve been busy. Doing what I’m not entirely sure. I feel like I’m finally figuring out who i am. I didn’t even realize that it was happening. Two eye opening life changing months ago and now I’m taking risks and finding out what i like and don’t like. Not being afraid to just be me even when it’s not popular or isn’t in style etc…

A bunch of my art.  Art is a great way for me to experience something more fully, and be more present.  I have to give it my full attention and concentration.

I found this site, a lot of it is deep psychology stuff which i just realized i love reading, even thou i hate reading novels. Just another thing I’m figuring out. Here’s a quote that pretty much sums it up.

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE

1. Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
2. Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
3. Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
4. When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
5. Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
6. Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
7. Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
8. Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don’t like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is. Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses–and then finding the courage to give them up.

Let go of the ego, fear, pride, defense, and guilt. Start living, my way of living, and take a risk.

I recently tried out a biz that i thought i would love. It turned out the exact opposite. No worries, no regrets, just glad i tried something new. If you never try you’ll never know. Now i know for sure. Next =)  Now, i’m busy packing and getting home prepped for renters. That in itself is a risk, and an adventure.

Hope you all get the chance to take one risk or try something new, or do something you’ve always wanted to do , or just speak your truth, how you feel about.. whatever =) – FS